More tranny stories later!
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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