There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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