i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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