things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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