it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
