i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize