i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
