when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
