i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
