why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I can't trust your balls anymore.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
