david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
