the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize