rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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