I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
