Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Everclear isn't food dammit
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize