You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
