I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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