I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
