There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
