just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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