ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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