just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
