and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
