Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
