i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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