fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
