i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
