Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
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