I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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