Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize