Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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