just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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