If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
