You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
