My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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