Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
