Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
