Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
