On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
