Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
