Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
It's shark week go big or go home
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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