woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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