i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
