so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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