lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
