**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
