I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
