and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
