Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
