My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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