Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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