i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
