No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
It's just like the Real World with babies
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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