i don't like sucking hair
she woke up with a sticky ear
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
