Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
