what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
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