We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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