As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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