Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm both gender and math confused
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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