I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
