Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
