Too much gin, very little bucket
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
