This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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