best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
